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Rebirth Out of Psychotic Death

出版	Department of Psychology. University of Missouri-Kansas City, 1989
URL	http://books.google.com.hk/books?id=AcS3NwAACAAJ&hl=&source=gbs_api

註釋This thesis is an attempt to formulate a phenomenology of psychotic experience, based on the author's own psychotic life over a period of 25 years. The thesis begins with an autobiographical description of that psychotic life, as well as the pre-psychotic and post-psychotic periods. This provides the data from which inferences can be made as to pattern of phenomena, meanings underlying symptom-manifestations, and originating causes. In the theory section of the thesis, the phenomenology developed reveals an existential tragedy springing from maternal deprivation, which in turn arose from emotional abuse by an alcoholic father. The severe deprivation of a foundation for existence, produced by rejection/engulfment, spawned intolerable and irresoluble existential conflict, which in turn spawned psychotic phenomena. The core issue was existence threatened by annihilation, which meant sexuality threatened by annihilation, and autonomous selfhood so threatened. Psychotic symptoms warned of an impending split between the real and unreal; and when no conflict resolution took place, that split produced a delusionary system designed to replace social reality. A private realm of emotion-laden fantasies became the author's only real world for twenty years, a world in which he could survive by avoidance of adult roles and responsibilities. However, this negative and rejective system was demonic, and contained within its fear and self-hatred, the seeds of self-destruction. The acting-out of pornographic fantasies in the real social world produced near-destruction of the self, but also the destruction of the delusionary system. In the third section of the thesis, the author describes his therapeutic escape from the power of psychotic phenomena over a period of seven years. Psychotherapy is portrayed as struggle against the Dark Side, and the gradual dawning of new awareness about men and women. The evil within is subdued as much by new encounters in the social world as by therapy itself. The therapist and client, faced with twenty-five years of psychosis, struggle together with tough determination until the private demons recede into the nothingness from which they came. A brief section consigning religious experience is designed to show its role in the total healing process.