Hooky Hefferman is commissioned by his formidable aunt to convey a 'brilliantly coloured, exquisitely detailed painting of young soldier blowing a trumpet' to Southern Italy, to her old admirer Sir Lucian Bryers-Fane.

Two others are heading in the same direction: a beautiful young academic who has been sent to read a commemorative scroll to Sir Lucian on the occasion of his eightieth birthday; and another party with entirely less admirable objectives.