"Before you say you're going to leave this band, before you say that playing covers is musical prostitution, before you say that every creative cell in your body has been destroyed by our 80s medley of Bros and A-Ha songs, before you say you hate our choice of tunes so much that you're tempted to not listen to another piece of music ever again, before you say you'd rather be dead than play another 50th birthday party gig...don't forget: this band is all you have."

Alex. 41. He's lost his flat, his girlfriend, his parents and his dignity. Still, at least he's got his bandmates, yes? It's just a shame one of them doesn't talk and the other one has forced them to play a six month residency in the middle of the sea. 

A fast-paced comedic tale from writer and musician Paul Richards about ambition, love and why being in a band is the greatest thing ever. Contains plenty of swear words.