Will Gare rob a legendary grave to ransom his grocery store bagger gang from a demonic painting?

My Name is Gaius Teutoberg. Don't laugh, and I won't have to hurt you. My best friend Sparky appears with some idiotic scheme that turns my life upside down.

Or maybe turns me dead.

My day job? I bag groceries and roll them to cars for tips at the American Commissary in Wiesbaden, Germany. I don't have a night job. Good thing, because I'm not a night person...even though I'm a vampire.

So this latest Sparky-induced buffoonery begins with a literal knife in the back and progresses to a thousand-year-old shrine containing the bones of a legendary German hero...and my first attempt at grave robbery.

I'll battle a sexy Hungarian warrior-woman assassin, match wits and muscles with some ugly demons and take a trip to the other side of the veil to save some people I've grown to love.

There's also an angel involved. A real one.